Christ suffers when those he loves most doubt His love, wisdom and power (David Wilkerson)

In February, a friend passed on from stage four stomach cancer. We had prayed for her, and I had a word from the Lord that He would show her His glory - that is, to cause all his goodness to pass before her. I was contending for her healing. When she passed on, I was really sad, disappointed in God even. Even though she had said the sinner's prayer a week before she passed on, which was surely more deserving of rejoicing! Other Christian friends told me that she was now with the Lord, where she is perfectly healed. But for the physical healing-fixated me, it was heartbreaking.

Early this week, the Lord led me to read the book of Philippians. As I read it, I prayed the prayers in the book which Paul prayed. Until I came to a line Paul said in Phil 3:10 - that "I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead".

Oh I couldn't pray this line for myself. I wanted the power of his resurrection alright! But I could hardly bring myself to pray that I would know the fellowship of his sufferings. It seemed like one of those scary prayers one would regret praying.

So I dug deeper. And chanced upon this sermon by David Wilkerson. What struck me was where he says,"Let me tell you what truly satisfies the heart of our Lord. It is the child of His who completely rests in His love, His power, and His wisdom. It is the child who can say, "I know He has all power, He can heal and save by whatever means He chooses - but He also is all wisdom, and I will trust completely even when I don't understand His workings." The church is full of people who believe in His power. That is all they know; it is all they want. Oh, how they trust when they see miracles and blessings. But let God in His wisdom take a loved one home to Himself, and those same power brokers either pout, or they go into a tailspin of fear and unbelief. They end up accusing God of unfairness. I believe in miracles! I believe in healing! He can heal cancer or any other disease. I believe my great God has a mighty arm that has authority over all the universe, all of nature, and all kingdoms of darkness. But I don't trust Him at all if I cannot believe He will do what is right -- through good times and bad, through sickness and health, through life or death. I refuse to push God -- I prefer to rest in His power, mercy, and wisdom."

That pierced my heart. I realised that in contending for healing, I had become one of those power brokers myself. I had forgotten that God is not just power, but love and wisdom. And that He can heal, but He can also choose not to. And that when He does not, we need to say, I trust you completely because your plans are perfect. Everything that happens, happens because your highest love, your highest wisdom is at work.

Four days after reading this text from David Wilkerson, the Lord took my Dad home. My dad was in hospital, but due to be discharged that day. And while talking his doctor, he went into a massive cardiac arrest, and could not be revived. I thank God that he had showed me this passage just four days earlier. Almost saying to me beforehand, Child, if I take Dad home, would you choose to trust that this is my highest love, my highest wisdom, my highest power at work?

I may not always understand His ways. But He is all-loving, all-wise, all-powerful. In that I rest. Amen.

Sermon from David Wilkerson
Jesus loved Lazarus. He also dearly loved his two sisters, Mary and Martha. Their home was an oasis for the Master. We know Lazarus and his family loved Jesus, but the Scripture is most emphatic in pointing out Christ's love for them:"He whom Christ loved was sick..." (John 11:3). When Jesus heard that, He sent them a message: "This sickness is not unto death; but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby..." (John 11:4).

Jesus knew that His Father intended that this miracle among His most beloved friends should give Him glory and hopefully, give them confidence and faith!

But what an experience of deep suffering it turned out to be for Jesus. The disciples doubted Him. Mary and Martha doubted Him. So did the weeping friends of Lazarus. Did Mary know how deeply she hurt Him when she accused Him of being preoccupied and disinterested in their problem? "...Lord, if you had just taken the effort to be here on time -- it's too late now... the damage is done."

Did Martha know how it hurt her Master when she questioned His resurrection power? He had plainly told her, "Thy brother shall rise again." But His word was not enough: "Oh, yes, on resurrection day he will arise -but what about now?"

How painful it must have been for Christ to have His dearest friends doubt He had all the power they needed. "Don't you know who I am yet?" is what the Lord was seeming to say. "I am the resurrection, and the life... believe in me. I have the power, the life..."

I don't think we know how deep the pain was for Him at that moment. His own disciples couldn't grasp the concept of who He was. It was awful enough that His own nation of people knew Him not, but those He loved dearly - how could they not recognize His power? Could He have said to Himself, "Not even my dearest friends believe - who then will ever believe? It is the ignoring of His power that causes such pain and distress to our lord! If we, His dearest friends, will not trust His power and faithfulness - who ever will? We call Him friend, Lord - but we do not live our lives as though He had the power needed to keep us victorious and joyful.

In recent weeks the Holy Spirit has been asking me repeatedly, "Is He really Lord? Is He truly Lord to you?" I testify to others that He is Lord! I tell myself that He is! But there are times I must cause Him so much hurt because I doubt Him in the times of need and crisis. If He is Lord, why do we live in such fear? Why do sickness and death so frighten us? Why do we live so down, so empty, so dry - when our Creator Lord has all power, all might, all wisdom! No wonder Jesus wept!

Let me tell you what truly satisfies the heart of our Lord. It is the child of His who completely rests in His love, His power, and His wisdom. It is the child who can say, "I know He has all power, He can heal and save by whatever means He chooses - but He also is all wisdom, and I will trust completely even when I don't understand His workings. The church is full of people who believe in His power. That is all they know; it is all they want. Oh, how they trust when they see miracles and blessings. But let God in His wisdom take a loved one home to Himself, and those same power brokers either pout, or they go into a tailspin of fear and unbelief. They end up accusing God of unfairness I believe in miracles! I believe in healing! He can heal cancer or any other disease. I believe my great God has a mighty arm that has authority over all the universe, all of nature, and all kingdoms of darkness. But I don't trust Him at all if I cannot believe He will do what is right -- through good times and bad, through sickness and health, through life or death. I refuse to push God -- I prefer to rest in His power, mercy, and wisdom.

I fellowship in Christ's suffering when I grieve over Christians who believe God can get glory only in miracles, signs and wonders. Jesus Himself said, "This sickness of [Lazarus]... is for the glory of God..." Not just the resurrection from the dead, but the sickness also. Some Christians cringe at the thought that God can get glory out of any illness.

But I'll go a step further and say that God can even get glory out of the death of His saints, as He did with the suffering and death of His own Son. I repeat my concept that death in Christ is the ultimate healing. It is not doubt to rest in the wisdom of God to overrule our prayers, even our faith. Job could say, after seeing no relief -- "Though he slay me, yet will I trust Him" (Job 13:15).

What Mary and Martha should have done was to rest in Christ's love and power - telling Him, "Lord, we know you are well able to raise him up. But, if not, you must have supernatural reasons, backed by holy wisdom - so we accept joyfully your ways. I know a dying family in Ohio who is bringing more glory to God than most healthy Christians in that state.

The singing Sigrist family suffers a rare form of cancer. Two daughters have gone to be with Christ - another is stricken. The father has a large tumor in his stomach. They live on the brink of death. But, oh, the victory in that household! They rejoice in God's love and faithfulness. Newspapers have carried the story of their faith throughout the state. They have such great faith in Christ's healing power - but also a complete confidence in His wisdom and love. They rest in God, preferring His will to their own.

People who hear their story say, "That's the kind of faith I want! That's the kind of God I want to serve. One who can give such peace and rest in the very face of death itself. A God who keeps you from coming apart in a crisis." "Blessed are they who have not seen, yet believe... "(John 20:29).

I believe God can get glory out of any and all situations. He doesn't need a miracle to get Him glory. He can cause even the wrath of men to praise Him. The sweetest grace of all is that which Christ gives to those who are led through the valley and shadow of death. They are the ones who know the glory of His comfort and the beauty of His rest. They look death in the eye and feel no alarm. Even pain and sickness can bring forth the most glorious revelation of the actual presence of Jesus. He makes our bed, in sickness (Ps. 41:3). Our family can vouch for that also. Through Job-like trials, Christ revealed Himself in ways beyond the glory of miracles.